*Quick Summary: The author describes his struggle with self-deprecation and self-appreciation.*
I have, and will struggle with loving myself. I am convinced you should love yourself to a certain degree, but I have lived with self-loathing for most of my life. Not because I make more mistakes than everyone else, but because only I have been present for every single mistake I have ever made. I’ve seen them all. So I judge myself on a different scale than I do others. A scale that makes self-loathing somewhat easier to attain than self-loving. Still, as I’ve grown I’ve come to what I think is a healthy balance. Enough love not to hate myself, and enough dislike of the sin inside me not to become selfish or self-obsessed.
Even with years of practicing that balance, inevitably I fail. For too many years I was driven by ego and inflated self-worth to the point of selfishness. And for too many years I downright hated the person in the mirror. Both extremes. Sometimes I did both in the same day. Too much and too little. Zero balance. A faulty level.
Today, my advice on self-love is simple – Love yourself, but base that love on the fact Jesus Christ knew you intimately, and still died for your brokenness and sin. If He saw your value, you should too, but keep in mind your righteousness is nothing without Him. There is accountability. If you keep your value based solely on Jesus, it can allow you to have a healthy level of love for yourself, while understanding that we aren’t capable of going too far and worshiping ourselves without dire consequences.
The importance of finding God is, for some, primarily rooted in believing in something larger than themselves. A way to ground themselves and prevent selfishness to ultimately become a better person through service to others. Searching for that accountability. To that end, people have created gods to serve that purpose. By doing so, they mock the very accountability they pretend to seek. You can’t be accountable to your imaginings. Accountability must be based in truth. Those people will never be satisfied until they understand we were created with a Jesus-sized hole in our heart. He alone can provide that balance. He alone is that Truth. If you feel out of balance on your self-love/self-loathing- Get level! I’ll help you!
